Monday, March 8, 2010

Finding the Surface ... Again

Hello Friends:

The cycle of sinking and surfacing is so tedious.  I'm sure you know the drill ... feel better, lighter, see some sun, then maybe too much sun, get feeling down, feel heavier, sink, stay down awhile, then start looking for sun again.  Over and over.

Not sure what exactly triggered this particular depressive episode, but I have a few ideas.  Probably a combination of dealing with the projectile V* lady at the airport in December, and then usual holiday blues, and then some family issues.  And there was more travel thrown in there, which always takes me days to recover from.  You don't see "hey, I'm about to go non-functional" creeping up on you, but then the next thing you know you are completely overwhelmed, without even the resources left to turn your computer on, let alone post to your blog.  Back at the bottom of the ocean.

At least this time my inability to deal with email/internet/blogs and stuff only lasted for two and a half months.  I think my longest was eight months.  I'm still feeling very bruised and shaky.  But I managed to get myself to go through some email, read a few blogs and a forum I like, and now even this post.  It's these little victories ...

You know me, normally I won't post unless I have enough to fill "War and Peace, the Trilogy" but for today, at least, I'm just putting in an update.  I know I owe you a second and final post to my "PTSD and The Crisis of Faith" theme, as well as a book review for a book on meditation and depression that I actually liked.  These are in the works, and hopefully will come out this week, as disorders continue to allow.

Anyway, thanks for your patience and support.  Again.

Oh, did I mention I have to go to the dentist tomorrow?  Sigh.

Your Hostess With Neuroses

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