1 day ago
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
So there I am, in my kitchen, trying to make something to eat. No, this story is not about mice. Much. Other than to say you know how hard it is to cook in a kitchen that has recently been visited by varmits. I still do not have them out with certainty, but it's been five days since they've been sighted. Heard one in the walls last night, but it did not enter the actual house. Traps are empty.
Okay, I said this wasn't about mice. It's about me trying to make lunch. I'm having a very down day, with a bit of bad news, feeling overwhelmed in general, and dealing with my mice-heightened kitchen OCD issues that are not fun at the best of times. And I know I am supposed to eat lunch, if I don't, I feel much worse as my sugar drops. I struggle with myself, and finally settle on something I think I can force down.
I usually eat lunch as quickly as possible, with as little fuss as possible. I am just not a 'lunch' sort of person. I don't like lunch food, like sandwiches. So I end up making either dinner or breakfast for lunch. I knew it would be more work that I was quite up for, but I chose to make some pasta with red sauce and a good dose of cheese for added protein. I knew that would hold me through the rest of a busy day.
Cook pasta. Stand around. Stir pasta. Turn on fan above stove because steam is all over the place. Right. Stand and stir. Feel hungry and bummed out. Pasta finally done. Drain pasta and put in small serving bowl. Return pot to burner and dump in sauce, onion, garlic, and pepper. Feel less bummed out since sauce smells good. (One pot is always the way to go ...) Stir and simmer. Starting to actually want to eat this stuff, and hunger is pretty bad. Dump pasta back into pot with sauce. Stir. Get cheese from fridge. Sprinkle pasta in pot with healthy dose of cheese. Then ...
Yeah. It's like a sitcom around here sometimes.
Then ... a SPIDER, a big hairy black SPIDER drops on a line from the oven hood, inches in front of my face, and nosedives it right into the pot! I $hit you not. I about peed myself. And get this. He doesn't immediately croak because he is a big cuss and happens to have landed right on a bunch of cheese that just came from the refrigerator. I am gape mouthed, and just starting to yell, when he seems to realize he is in MY POT OF BOILING SAUCE and starts reeling himself back up out of the pot!
The story ends here for the spider, because I hate them. I'd have killed him even if he wasn't just spotted in my LUNCH.
I return to my pot. I shut off the heat. I sort of stare at it a moment, feeling bad for myself because there is just no way in heck I can eat this now. And then I start laughing.
Because I am about to die of an irony attack. I've spent the last two days decorating for Halloween, which is a holiday I love. I do up the house like a vampire's lair, with fake spiderwebs and the whole shebang. In fact, I have a bag of over 100 spiders I can put in the webs and scatter over the tables. They really creep me out, which is sort of what I want on Halloween.
So what am I supposed to do? Get all pissed off with the universe for giving me a good scare? Too hypocritical.
Doesn't mean I was able to eat lunch, but I did get a serious laugh out of it.
Your Hostess With Neuroses
Image credit/info: Spiders on Flikr via Creative Commons, CC 2.0
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